Dear Deb,

I’ve had it! I’m so tired and cranky I can’t seem to deal with any of the parenting issues that are happening with my kids. What can I do? Help-please!

Signed,
I need a night off

Dear ‘Need a night off’,

Bravo! You get it…you DO need a night off. Parenting can be a very rewarding job, but it also is very challenging and demanding. One of our biggest fears (or hurdles) when we are overtired and at our wits end is to trust that the kids will be okay if we take some well deserved time off. As parents, we need to give ourselves permission to take care of ourselves. We do have a choice and need to empower ourselves to take a break. We often have those messages come into our brain…’oh the kids need me, they can’t survive without me, the house will fall apart, I’d feel too guilty’…and on and on they go.

Stop-ask yourself what is going to happen if you DON’T take a break? More yelling, more words spoken that we didn’t really mean, more tears, more tantrums?

Parental self-care is one of the most powerful gifts you can give your child. Yes-it is a gift! It models to them that we matter and that they matter. It demonstrates that taking care of yourself and listening to your body is important. It gives them time to build a relationship and spend time with another caregiver. It gives them a parent who is refreshed and hopefully relaxed. Refreshed to spend more time with them and play, laugh and sing. Taking a night off is a win-win situation for everyone.

Try some of these strategies to take care of yourself:

• Ask for help! Ask your partner, a grandparent, a neighbour or get a babysitter.
• Take a time out. If you can’t leave the house, but the children are safe, retreat to a quiet place, even the bathroom for a short while to regroup.
• Practice positive self-talk. ”I can do this. I am strong. I have a plan.”
• Count your blessings. What is going well in your life? List them all.
• Call a friend or family member. Who are your social supports? Who can you call?
• Exercise- Do something physical like going for a walk or even scrubbing the floor.
• If you are still feeling you need something more, talk to your doctor or speak to a counsellor at K-W Counselling services at the Thursday Walk In Clinic (12 noon -6pm). They will support you in developing a plan that is right for you.
• Take a night off… and enjoy a hobby you haven’t had time for in awhile!

Happy parenting!
Deb